Thursday, May 7, 2009

Of Sickness and Pedophiles...

So I was watching my stored up cache of Oprah shows on the DVR and my fear factor, which is higher than most every body's anyway, has just skyrocketed.  Thank you Oprah for focusing on my two biggest fears- sickness and pedophiles.  
Crap! You got me Oprah! That bladder infection that I wasn't really concerned about is now certainly turning into the flesh eating bacteria or MRSA.  I am going to have to spray my husband down with Lysol when he enters the house after work.   Since he works in health care he is most certainly covered in it.  
Oh Lord, Oprah! Why do you do it to me?  
I already think that anyone and everyone is out to steal my children when you come at me with even more tales of pedophiles! Most of them in my state!  Yes! Yes!  I emailed my Congressmen!  I will do whatever you want just start doing more Mommy makeovers so I can stop having nightmares about Pedophiles covered in flesh eating bacteria coming after my kids!!!  No, I am not sticking my head in the sand.   I talk to Maddox all the time about stranger danger and how private parts are called that for a reason.  This is something I worry about constantly.  I actually asked my husband if I couldn't home school the kids to avoid the sickness and the child predators since I am certain both are lurking around every corner.  Yeah, he said we cant have any more children.  He said he cannot stand to listen to me worrying about a third.  Whatever.
Now, if you will please excuse me I have to go hermetically seal my children in a bubble.  Right after I take them to be implanted with GPS locating devices.