At the end of the day...

All day long and usually right before I fall asleep I find myself thinking about the kind of mother I want to be. How I want them to remember me. Affectionate and loving, fair and honest, even tempered and patient. Strong, a rock, someone they can always count on...yeah, usually this is after I have screamed like a harpy because they have been at each other's throats all day. Say... with, oh, I don't know.... what started out as a fight over an imaginary cookie in the play kitchen?

The flippin' thing is imaginary! Bake another one! It will take you about a millisecond! It is not even REAL! The next person to talk about, think about, tattle about, or look at the other person is in TIME OUT!

It's five o'clock somewhere, isn't it? I think I finally understand what cocktail hour is truly all about. In college I thought this was a great excuse to imbibe...now I realize I may need a cocktail at the end of the day to coax me from the fetal position in the corner and take me to my happy place. I actually came home and meditated after taking Maddox to the dentist the other day. My mantra? Breathe, breathe...but that is another entry for another day. I don't think I can go there emotionally yet. A frik frakkin imaginary cookie can ruin my day. The dentist incident may have actually split my personality it was so traumatic.

Obviously I am pretty large work in progress...